WoW_Ladies: Girl Gamers of World of Warcraft

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Logistics, real life dinnertime and raiding schedules
owlsamantha wrote in wow_ladies
Here's a wrinkle I don't think we'd planned on. I just dinged 60 on the server that my husband has been playing on since he started playing. Long story short, my first character was on a different server so that I could play with a female friend of mine. I'd made an alt type character on my husband's server but didn't play her much. When I finally got fed up with the server my main was on (the only decent person there was my friend as far as I could find) I moved over to Stonemaul permanently. I ditched my half-assed attempt at an undead mage, rolled up my druid and was good to go. Well, now months later I'm finally level 60 and my husband and I are both in the same guild. I'll be starting my raids with them this week actually.
The problem? We have two small children who need to eat dinner and raids start at 5pm. Ack! How are we going to make dinner?! There are no problems with the kids running around playing and such while we raid. They're already used to that, they play in the computer room and we can get them things that they need (you know, cups of juice, snacks, what have you) when we have breaks. Before it was easy because if I was running an instance and in the middle of combat my husband might be in a a space between pulls where he could safely go afk for 30 seconds you know. But now we'll be on the same schedule essentially. We both play support classes too (he's a holy priest, I'm a resto druid) so the guild ideally would want us to both be in a forty man raid. It's not like we can easily switch off any raid nights other than say, ZG and AQ20 runs.
It's more of a logistics problem than a real stressor. It's just that it hadn't really occured to me when I joined his guild that eventually we'd both be raiding on the same nights and thus on the same schedule game-wise. For tonight, since dinner is already thawed out, I'm just planning on eating with the kids at 4pm (about two hours earlier than our normal dinnertime) and letting them snack when they get hungry later one. We'll make a plate for my husband (who doesn't usually get home from work until just about invite time) to heat up and that will take care of tonight. But what about the rest of the week? The rest of the time I'm raiding. I suspect that it will be me who shows up to fewer raids, because I'm the mama after all and that's who the kids often want. Ack, who'd of thunk that the social problems of parenthood in America would follow me into Azeroth :o

Oh my goddess .... Hun I just went thru and glanced at some of the comments that were left (after I posted) and I just wanted to say hun I'm so sorry that some people are being the way they're being. I just thought I would send some *huggles* your way ... *smiles*

For me ... I have come to love the crock pot ... hehe .... not because of WoW but because I worked and was a full time student. *smiles*

I think she's stopped watching the community. 8-( I don't blame her, frankly. *sigh*

For crying out loud ladies, get a bloody grip. The woman is asking for some help.

I, personally, didn't have much attention from my parents when I was growing up given my father was in the Army and normally over seas, and my mother worked night shifts. I'm not suicidal, I'm not a murder, I don't think about hurting people and I'm not depressed. I'm a Network Operations Specialist at 19 years of age making more money than most 30 year olds. This is almost as bad as the "video games make people violent" discussion. Get a clue!

As for the OP; I would personally try to find a guild that raided at a better time. I'm in an Australian guild on Tichondrius and we raid at about 20:00pm at night. If that's not a possibility (Or you simply don't want to), you could try getting a third party to make dinner for you. I'm not talking about junky take-away, but you could stop by an Italian restaurant and pick up some pasta, or some chinese or something. Most families have take away once a week - make your raid nights those nights. Less stress for you all around :)

Your parents didn't ignore you for a hobby. I think you'd probably feel different if they had.

Stop playing on the computer like a child and look after your kids first.

dotparentsnark and [Bad username: parenting_snark"] have it too.

Parent_Drama and Fandom Wank will get it later today.

Another random comment

Somethingelse that has got me a lil upset is the fact that people are jumping all over her for nothing ... crap she is asking for help/suggestions/support. And having a frackin hobby is healthy ... if we don't have something outside of our child, family, jobs ... we might become one of those statistics we all read about. *grumbles*

Bumping dinner up a couple of hours ... like 4pm is not fracking lunch time ... Damn !!! When the hell do you start your families day?

Oh hun ... and here .... *huggles* and *support* .... that's just my 2 cents ... which aint much.

What a load of Codswallop!

I've had a look in those snark communities, and they are really, horribly nasty. This woman asked for help, and now they're portraying her as an obsessed gamer who has eyes only for the computer while her kids are going unwashed and totally neglected, with one lovely lass(?) noting that "when I get out of school and am a qualified social worker, I'm going to look for her and take her kids away!" What the hell? This load of codswallop has proven to me that nowhere is safe from stupidity and narrowmindedness.

Nowhere in the manual does it say that a parent - particularly a mother - needs to subsume their lives totally into that of their children. And I notice there's no snarking at the father, just as an observation. In fact, whaddaya know? There's no manual. I still maintain that if she didn't care, she wouldn't have asked. And we are all too quick to judge, it seems.

I still say kudos for asking, and I hope that my reply and others that tried to help and offer suggestions weren't lost in the raw manure being poured into this post.

get little baggies and chop up some carrots, broccoli, and celery and apple pieces, stuff like that when you're not busy.. and then store them in the fridge.. and get peanut butter or other random dressing that the kids like.. and after they have their dinner, later on they can snack on a baggie of nutritional stuff. When I was a kid, I would more likely snack on stuff that's small and cut up like baby carrots and celery with peanut butter.. than to cut it up myself to eat it.
Also, you can make a big thing of jello (if they're not vegetarian) with fruit in it for snacking on for several days.

How does healthy snacks ignore her AND her husband ignoring them to raid?

(Deleted comment)
who'd of thunk that the social problems of parenthood in America would follow me into Azeroth :o

You consider your responsibility to feed your children dinner at dinnertime each day to be a "social problem"??

WOW, and that's no acronym.

I noticed that but figured I'd said enough here ;)

Your mistake was in letting them find out that kids in other families get to eat every day. It's all about managing expectations, and you screwed that up.

You seriously don't put a computer game before your child's needs?

You're too late for the bashing. She deleted her journal because people were so rude and nasty to her.

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That's terrible, I'm really sorry.

I don't know if you still read this, but I thought I'd add a suggestion anyway.

Now, I also don't know when you have your warm meal. If it's possible to have it at noon, then why don't you make a "bread plate" in the evening? That is, slices of bread, sausage, cheese, vegetables and fruit on plates. Everybody takes what they want. You can prepare it before you go raiding (it doesn't get cold, after all *g*) and you can also eat together already. If the children get hungry later, they can take some more food from the plate (that way, it's still part of the dinner and they hopefully won't cry for unhealthy food then *g*).

At least, when I was a kid, I always LOVED plates like this. You can take what you want and there's always such nice stuff there to eat. Plus, if you add fruit like watermelon, apples, strawberries, bananas, pineapples,... it's very healthy, too.

If that's the only time of the day you can have a warm meal, then maybe a different guild would be good, too. One that doesn't start that early or so. :o) Or you just alternate in going raiding. One time, you go. The other time, your husband goes.

I'd have to disagree with most of the posts here.

From what I read above it just looks to me that you're trying to juggle your sanity and your love, care, and devotion to your children.

(It does irk me that I have yet to see people suggest that your husband actually helps as well. Its a marriage of TWO and he contributed to those children as well)

Anyway, I love the actual suggestions here about the slow cooker and the assorted food plates.

You also might mention your issue with your raiding officers or your GM. There are many parents in the game and people can be very accomodating if you need to tuck off and prepare a quick meal etc...

I'm just saying...that don't listen to the people above who think you have to spend 24/7 time with your kids or you're a bad mother. WTF this isn't the 50's where the mom was stuck at home bored out of her mind and that's all she could do. There were horrible kids/people in the 50's too. Your sanity is very important. Your happiest is very important. Cause if your a happy mom that will filter down to your children. Also, I'm sure you do but use your husband. Ya'll can easily tag team a meal in MC (might be a little more difficult in ZG and AQ20).

Okies I'll stop rambling. I hope you'll not let these posts bother you. They aren't worth listening to.

Put your kids LONG before your game. If they want to eat at Seven feed them then. Find a game you can play AFTER they go to bed.

When you become a parent, they're comfort comes before your pleasure.

Now say it with me
other family

In that order.

First off, 98% of the people that responded to this are ignorant fools. She's trying to reconcile a hobby/her social life with her kids, not whipping them with razorblades. And it's all about a matter of dinnertime, which is flexible to begin with. She's not neglecting her kid, or trying to neglect her kid, she's trying to work out a way to reconcile her fun with her duties. Isn't that something we all do in one way or another?

I'm a gamer, and a guy, and I have a son (which granted I split custody of) and for me the game is a bonding experience with him. He sits on my lap, babbles to me and I talk back to him, and we discuss what's going on on the screen. It's like tv, but daddy can make the thing on the tv dance or whatever. He'll sit there for an hour most of the time, and I talk to him/tell him stories/whatever while he's there. bam, I'm gaming and at the same time I spend QT with my son. Odd concept, isn't it?

As for the dinner bit, I'd have to agree with the finger food platter concept if you're just looking for easy food they can eat. Home made chicken nuggets (because fast food and frozen ones are a waste of stomach space), baby carrots, peeled tail-less fried shrimp, chicken drumsticks, broccoli, potstickers, baked french fries, pigs in a blanket, stuff like that. it's quick and easy, and kids love food they can eat with their hands. Also healthy as well, since if it's smaller hand sized foods you can make a mixed plate of stuff, and get more food groups in.

Also, salads are quick, easy and healthy. That's my son's favorite food, and he's *2*.

Other options are definitely find a local teenager and give them 10 bucks to watch the kid on game night or find a friend who has kids and trade babysitting. that's free and as well your kid gets to play with another child frequently, so not only is it undoing the "gross mental trauma" many of the posters here are bitching about, but it also develops social skills among the child's peer group.

Or, grab your husband and switch guilds with him. I do agree he has a responsibility as well. you being a stay at home mom doesn't matter, when he's done with work he should be helping just as much. Kids aren't a chore, they're your greatest possession.

I also wonder, if the original post would have been "I love to read, and I have a reading group come over to my house once or twice a week and discuss books. Problem is most of them work, so the only time we can do this is at dinner time. Can anyone give me advice on quick and easy meals I can put together to make this easier?" would it have gotten even 1/4th the attention? Or is it just because it's GAMER PARENT! *gasp* you assume the kid's running around in a loin cloth banging pots together and trying to eat knives, while being fed bits of the thing that used to be the family dog?

Wow, about the only sane comment I saw here. Apparently if you have children, you cannot have a hobby. Who knew? And the reading group thought came to my mind as well!

And my daughter loves to sit on my lap and watch me play sometimes. She calls my character Barbie. Hahaha! Then I'll talk to her about what is going on, like the other day I had to kill bears and wolves and so I asked her to help me find the wolves and bears and she would get excited and point at them when she saw them. So she has her mothers love and is actually having a semi-learning experience.

Obviously I need worst mother of the year award. I'd like it framed plx!


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