Masha ([info]krsaskaya) wrote in [info]wow_ladies,
2010-09-08 02:04:00
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Goblin birth control

My friend and I will have a male and female goblin pair that will be married, slightly older, and run a business of sorts together. He wants children as a legacy, she sees it as interfering in HER profit (she also is the head of the venture, secretly). She doesn't want kids. Obviously, this is the opposite of the goblin norm (seeing as it's been quoted as they breed like rabbits), just like this is against the norm IRL. And just like IRL, some birth controls can have bad side effects or be painful, etc.

So.. It came to me. She's going to be an engineer (useful for pvp, of course). She doesn't want kids. I have an IUD, personally. These three things mixed together has gotten the goofiest ideas ever in my head. Just the THOUGHT of what a goblin engineer's version of birth control would be is downright SCARY. She's a ticking TIME BOMB.

I DON'T SEE HOW THIS COULD *EVER* GO WRONG.

Added for discussion: Birth control has been a part of human sexuality probably since we first really began to think. Herbs, obstructions, all that sorts. What do you think that'd be like in WoW? I'm sure Alchemists would make a fortune in such a venue.

SORRY IF THIS IS SOMEHOW WAY TOO RANDOM. Less coffee...

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  • 35 comments

[info]the__ivorytower

September 8 2010, 06:11:13 UTC 1 year ago

The version I've worked with are an herbal tea which mostly works, and another idea, one that's both more expensive and less prone to error, a mage-charm bracelet.

...and *any*thing engineered stuck inside a living being scares me if it's from Azeroth. By Elune, the goblins have exploding devices and the gnomish one is liable to turn *you* into a baby.

[info]krsaskaya

September 8 2010, 06:28:01 UTC 1 year ago

the gnomish one is liable to turn *you* into a baby.

BAHAHAHA. I don't think her hubby would appreciate that.

[info]dravvie

September 8 2010, 06:27:31 UTC 1 year ago

Well, there's the quest in Zangermarsh for wings that are like condoms.

My warlock doles out thinly veiled advise and potions to "prevent any accidents" she gets from some place shady to her friends. (So I think herbs would be a great plan).

[info]silly_walnut

September 8 2010, 18:45:15 UTC 1 year ago

... what?

[info]dravvie

1 year ago

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[info]celticmyst08

1 year ago

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[info]131_di

1 year ago

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[info]bugglesnunny

1 year ago

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[info]amurderofcrows

September 8 2010, 06:58:54 UTC 1 year ago

I think the herbal angle is GREAT, especially considering Goblins excel in alchemy. ;) Just a thought.

(My some-day-Worgen rogue is an alchemist drug dealer, while my some-day-goblin rogue cook is a poison taster. Go figure.)

[info]bright_eyes_jh

September 8 2010, 07:45:40 UTC 1 year ago

My characters who are partnered end up drinking a strong tea that prevents anything from happening. Of course, I can't imagine it'd be 100% effective, but considering Azeroth's powerful magics, it's probably pretty good.

[info]malrai

September 8 2010, 11:12:25 UTC 1 year ago

Most people seem to use teas or potions or spells as I recall. My ranger's reaction when she found out was to turn red, then pale white, and cry "YOU CAN DO THAT?!"

The engineer version though...bwahahaha.

[info]pewter

September 8 2010, 11:13:14 UTC 1 year ago

In 'RP' I've always viewed it as a function of the alchemy profession, although I suspect magic users would also be able to 'inhibit'. I've known a couple of warlock roleplayers who RPed that their association with the Fel rendered them barren (but then plenty of warlocks who never rped any of the sort.)

I know a few roleplayers who are fans of the Kushiel series, where pregnancy can only happen after a woman has prayed to Eiseth to 'open their womb', and they decided on a similar mechanism for pray to the light/praying to Elune. However I never heard them say how that worked for them and not other characters.

[info]genet

September 8 2010, 13:58:05 UTC 1 year ago

This is how I figure it works for draenei. A ritual and perhaps some herbs to help them be.. um.. receptive.

(long lived races, lower birth rates, etc.)

[info]fluffysilver

September 8 2010, 11:49:55 UTC 1 year ago

We have potions that turn you into walruses, gnomes, potions that make you bigger... I can't imagine a birth control potion not existing. Heck, it would probably have better effect than any birth control we make here, maybe even enough to mess with somebody's fertility.

I LOVE your RP idea! I kind of want to see what happens if she gets knocked up. XD

(And aww, now I want to see a pregnant goblin! They must be SO CUTE. Yeah, I'm weird.)

[info]siadea

September 8 2010, 12:10:36 UTC 1 year ago

Oh my god I am horrified and intrigued by engineer versions of birth control. O_O (My undead's first cheerful suggestion was "I bet you could figure out something kind of like scissors you could put in there...")


(That said, I imagine potions/spells are, uh, more of the norm. Both of my trolls apparently have access to herbs that will delay their cycles until it's somewhere safe and/or convenient, kinda like the pill. My mage, who is a researcher in Dalaran, gets very cranky whenever this is mentioned.)

[info]kirolee

September 8 2010, 12:14:13 UTC 1 year ago

And just about any healer class could easily seal off tubes in both men and women.

[info]archangelbeth

September 8 2010, 14:05:49 UTC 1 year ago

Power Word: Shield.

>_>

[info]xelestri

1 year ago

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[info]krsaskaya

1 year ago

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[info]shinnyneko

September 8 2010, 17:56:05 UTC 1 year ago

Come on baby, I got blessing of protection!

[info]absidey

September 8 2010, 13:38:58 UTC 1 year ago

Goblin-made IUD. 0.0 That one's gonna stick with me a while.

[info]hackess

September 8 2010, 14:22:59 UTC 1 year ago

Alchemists or even just Herbalists would be my go-to.

[info]xelestri

September 8 2010, 16:50:20 UTC 1 year ago

I think the oldest forms of birth control, such as it was, were herbs/teas, and condoms.

[info]celticmyst08

September 8 2010, 19:03:20 UTC 1 year ago

Just hire a paladin to cast Hand of Protection on you.

:D

[info]xaandria

September 8 2010, 19:06:11 UTC 1 year ago

Forget birth control. I want to know how our female characters deal with That Time Of The Month, particularly our plate-wearing ones...or the ones who routinely shift their shapes...

And what do they use? I'm imagining a steel version of my own beloved Lunette cup and it's making me D:.

[info]penumbral2276

September 8 2010, 20:48:56 UTC 1 year ago

Well, there's some birth control now that makes it so you have a period only every three months. And I'm pretty sure that if you wanted, you could just not take the lower-dosage hormone pills and just keep going without a period.

[info]gireateroftacos

1 year ago

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[info]bubbly_orbo

1 year ago

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[info]eternal_jazz

1 year ago

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[info]blackstray

September 8 2010, 20:42:38 UTC 1 year ago

Heh, I thought goblins learing engineering WAS a form of population control.

The finest in goblin made wares!
*Caution-May explode*

[info]krsaskaya

September 9 2010, 07:07:36 UTC 1 year ago

I am loving the comments in this thread, but I'm pretty sure you just took the cake. LOL

[info]blackstray

1 year ago

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[info]gireateroftacos

September 8 2010, 22:01:10 UTC 1 year ago

OMG heh, my Pally is totally going to be opening up shop in some back alley and selling her Hand of Protection to those that can pay.

[info]kittysaysno

September 8 2010, 22:20:28 UTC 1 year ago

I go with the alchemy angle, myself.

Neat piece of WTF history: The ancient Greeks, I believe it was, had a super effective plant that was used for birth control. It was so effective that it was driven to extinction because demand for it was so high - and the plant was only able to grow on one freaking island.

[info]aunty_del

September 9 2010, 02:56:58 UTC 1 year ago

I was reading all this to my boyfriend who, still on his first cup of coffee, said, "I don't care how tough she is, a blacksmith is *not* the answer." LOL!
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