WoW_Ladies: Girl Gamers of World of Warcraft

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Good guildie guide
kirsy1 wrote in wow_ladies
Due to the fact that my guild seems to have developed a chronic case of drama lately, I give you:

Kirsy's guide to being a good guildie!

 You just got invited to my guild!  Welcome!  Now…before we go any further, I need you to realize several things.

1.  My guild is a very large guild, but that doesn’t mean that from minute one, you have a ton of new friends.  We don’t know you.  You don’t know us.  Please talk…at least some.  And by talk, I don’t mean, “Anybody want to run a heroic?”  Just a friendly hi once in awhile is a start.  Participating in ongoing conversations is a best bet.  You’ll end up fitting right in if you put some effort into it.

2.  As far as conversations, until you know us (and maybe not even then), please DON’T do the following:  Bring up the most controversial topics you can think of (politics, religion, drugs, etc.), brag constantly on your RS25 geared super-shammy who isn’t in guild and never will be because he’s obviously too good for us, give repeated, unsolicited advice in the form of “You shouldn’t do that, fail noob,” rip on existing guildies (especially if said guildie is an officer with kick privileges) or make adulty comments about the guild leader because she’s a girl (people never want to do this in MY guild – we’re loaded up with trade trolls.  We’ll troll before we gkick).  Also, don’t hit on every guy/girl in guild.  Seriously.

3.  Please don’t pop your Recount into guild chat.  No one cares but you.  Especially if you’re level 27. This does NOT count as conversation.  If I’m looking to see dps for a raider, I run my own meter on them.

4.  Same with macros along the lines of a Rickroll.  Granted, not all macros are awful, but I don’t need to see every drawing you’ve ever made. 

5.  Never assume!  Yes, we’re running three ICC 10 teams right now.  You’re 80.  That alone doesn’t guarantee you a raid spot.  If you want to raid, you need to follow the same rules as everyone else.  Go read the raid rules, send me your schedule, do a weekly or other raid with an officer so we can see how you do.  Get geared.  Talk to one of the raid leaders. 

6.  Show up for what you’re signed up for.  If you miss a raid, no big deal.  If you miss five, we’re not interested in inviting you to number six unless there’s a good reason for your misses.

7.  The guild leader is really good at reading people.  When we get to the hard part of ICC progression, I might buy someone suddenly D/Cing because of a storm the first time.  If it’s done in repeated raids, I’m gonna go hit the weather channel to see whether it’s really raining in Tampa.  Or I’ll ask my friend who’s online who also lives there.  Then I’m gonna pull the D/Cing raider off the progression team.  Why?  The official reason will be because we need someone with a steady connection.  The real reason is that I know the raider is lying because they don’t want to face grind on a fight. 

8.  This is an important one – if you have an issue with anything going on in guild, talk to an officer.  If you get no results, talk to the guild leader.  Don’t just gquit.  And don’t ragequit with added drama.  That’s childish (I say this despite the fact that all our ragequitters to date have been over 18) and will get you no respect.  If you’re truly interested in finding a good guild to hang out with, you have to put in some work, too.  My guildies and officers aren’t mind readers.  No one knows you have an issue if you don’t say something.  You need to voice your concerns to someone before they get out of hand and you leave.  The officers don’t bite, I swear.  It might take a few days before things get done, but we’ll at least try.  That’s more than a lot of guilds I’ve been in.

9.  The guild leader recruited you, but she doesn’t want to go out with you.  Saying hi doesn’t constitute flirting so get that notion right out of your head.  Right now. 

10.  If the guild leader is currently healing on Dreamwalker, now is NOT a good time to whisper her on your level 1 warrior alt for a ginvite.  Whisper anyone in guild.  They can all invite you.

11.  If no one is talking in guild, it’s not personal.  Sometimes people are fighting, afk, eating, in an RP or just don’t want to run a heroic or can’t do that gem cut you’re asking about.   That doesn’t mean omg they hate you.  If you don’t get an answer once in awhile, keep in mind that it happens and try again later.

12.  When you first join guild, don’t expect full access to the guild bank, an immediate promotion to officer, repeated instance runs for your lowbie alt or other special privileges.  If you see something you need in the guild bank, feel free to ask.  But don’t expect it to fund your level 19 by ganking the bank’s abyss crystals.   By the same token, please don’t try to buy the guild leader’s favor by trying to do everything for everyone to prove to me what a good officer you’d make.  Obvious brown nosing is obvious.

13.  Don’t do something dumb and think I won’t hear about it.  If you’re doing something like standing around in Dalaran, popping trade windows at level 80s and begging, someone will tell me.  Trust me.

14.  Sometimes it’s not us – it’s you.  If you’ve been gkicked from a bunch of guilds, you might want to look at why before moving on to your next guild.  For example, if you know you’re sarcastic or come across as caustic, tell me up front.  If you’re joking, we’ll try to take it as such.  If I don’t know, there’s a good chance we’ll be the next guild to administer the boot. 

And there you go.  Your mileage may vary depending on guild, but this is a good list to start from.

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Eeeeeek, you've had some bad ones. o0 Looking up the weather on people? Eek.

Holy priest. Specced wrong and gemmed/enchanted wrong but still ok at that class (we won't talk about her ret pally who pulled 1200 dps in ICC or her 2k hunter). Whenever we got to a fight that wasn't a one shot, she mysteriously had something come up. The storm was an excuse twice. The second time, I pulled out my iPhone app and the weather was clear. I asked an online friend the same night and he confirmed. We replaced her and got Dreamwalker down.

She left when the raid leader tried to talk to her about her game. Incidentally, she's also the example in the "never assume" comment.


And here I get a huffy if someone is legitimately absent...

I can't believe that someone doesn't want to go on exciting, new, and hard content!? We tried to do one "progression" and one "learned" content 10s, which went over like a lead ballon, and everyone is just "progression" now, and we all different halves of the drake achievement. /sigh. We do run with a lot of very talented awesome folks though. :D

(PS Since you are the OP: Thought this guide was going to be way more snarky and bitchy - I actually really like it. :) Good luck with your GMing!)

I find progression interesting and a challenge. A lot of people don't like it. And some just want to be carried. Or maybe they don't have enough faith in themselves to even try?

I would like to be carried, snuggled, and fed peeled grapes. -.-

No grapes. You'll have to settle for pears. Sorry :P

The only time I can see a single person posting dps counts or any other meter would be to thank the entire guild for advice/enchants/whatever that helped them do better. If they wanted to thank a single guildie, do it in a whisper.

Or if it were a guild run and it was asked for.

I've had a couple people who were in love with numbers. It's usually the ones who aren't doing well, tbh, but they think they are. *eyeroll*

I get in love with the numbers when I'm improving. I'm all LOOK GUYS I DID BETTAR CAN I HAS A COOKIE and they're all "w/e ashy, take your cookie out of the jar yourself we're busy" QQ

(I love teh guild and I hate being on WoW haitus.)

Wow. It sounds like you've had some baddies. :(

I do have to say this. Reading your post was so much more interesting and enlightening than the "R did this, L said that, and C is being an f'ing B about it" posts we get. While reading this, I found myself wincing and saying "omg, I hate that". Kudos to you for entertainment, and for surviving so much drama. :)

Ugh, I want to be in your guild. I'm sick of LOTS of these behaviors in my current guild.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I hate my guild, heh. Perhaps I'm just uptight or something, but everything is "gay" this and "n----" that (despite someone telling me that this guild is "the opposite of homophobic"), meter-topping/e-peen measuring competitions... one Holy Paladin DIs someone on every trash pull, diverting all the aggro onto himself so he dies, then pesters me to rebuff him... -.-

Sorry. Didn't mean to derail. Just having a shitty day and wondering if I'll ever find a polite and well-run guild!

Those guilds exist!

Don't put up with jerks. Because that is what they are.

It's better to be alone for a little bit (and you can always try advertising yourself on the ladies), then it is to be dealing with crap.

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It's all on Vent, so I'm not sure it's under Blizz's jurisdiction. I kinda hate being in Vent.

I also hate meters. Seriously. I'm the least-geared Holy Paladin in the raid group (acceptably geared, according to the GMs who approved my application & armory check) and one of the other Paladins took it upon himself to teach me, which I appreciate but has also been a little chafing - the teaching method being "There is one way to heal as a Holy Paladin and if you don't do it this way you are bad". His method is to spam Holy Light on everything, everyone, all the time - whether they need it or not. Okay, that's cool, he has the gear and mana pool to do that. I... don't, and I also don't feel the pressure to heal people who are at 100% health. I know overhealing doesn't mean anything for Paladins in Wrath, but he does like.. 7mil of actually healing and 350mil of overhealing. Oh, and then the other Holy Paladin sent me a tell in the middle of ICC25 the other night to say "Can I ask what you're doing for heals? Because says you suck, lol".

Upon which I promptly burst into tears.

Oops, used HTML tags improperly. The tell was ""Can I ask what you're doing for heals? Because _____ (a rather caustic Raid Leader)* says you suck, lol".

* This particular raid leader who was telling people I suck had raided with me once, a late-night, spur-of-the-moment RS10 that they just needed another healer for. The GM invited me to come, I said "Are you sure? I don't think I'm good enough and I don't know the fights", and he assured me it would be fine. Well, I caused one wipe (not being ready for that bladewhirl or whatever on the boss that splits in two), and then ate beam on Halion (along with several others) before the tank's power went out (legitimately) and we had to call it.

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Don't you know holy pallies are like fairy dust and big foot? I'm not even sure they exist...

You'll be able to find a new guild if you want it. /luck!

I'm of the mind that if no one dies, I really don't care about meters. I only check them if I suspect there's a problem - like with the holy priest when she was on her ret pally. I never saw her pop wings so I went to look at her Recount. She never did a rotation. At all. Then I inspected her. Then I talked to the raid leader.

(ok I lied in my other post when I said we weren't gonna talk about her - oops)

My guild has it's moments - sometimes the commentary gets carried away. I generally try to keep everything on an even keel. Most of the time we're ok.

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ahhh yes this! D: or when they come to you at their very last straw and say "WELL DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WAS UPSET?"

no, i DIDN'T know, i'm a guild leader, not psychic! it comes with gkick privledges, not telepathic ones!

on that note, though, i really like this list. @ OP- would it be alright if my officers and i tweaked it to be more relevant for our own guild and used it, with credit back to you?

This is my guild's biggest issue. I hate watching someone gquit and having no idea why, then finding out later it was something easily fixed.

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My raid leaders don't put up with that or call outs in raid of "Omg heals! I got no heals!" or anything blameful. We've been out to teach good raid etiquette since day one and we've got some of the best, most professional raiders on the server :)

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Sadly, I can relate to every single point, and lord does that suck.

Kudos to you for having the strength of mind to run a guild!

I think we've experienced most of those points. I should post something similar to this on our forums ^^

Every now and then we get some person that feels left out and lonely and accuse people of being cliquey, but they never really *tried* to make friends with people.

Nice list!
I've seen you post about your guild before and have been envious of it. What server are you on again? and are you taking resto druids with a three-kids-can't-be-sure-of-summer-schedule types who may be getting decently geared as a tank too? :D


I'm on your server, lol (that's Wyrmrest Accord for anyone else who's interested). You ran a couple things with us before the drama-storm hit. I *think* it's over (crosses fingers). I'll be online after 3:30 server or whisper anyone in guild. We'd LOVE to have you here :D

oh duh, I wondered why your name was so familiar >.<
Yeah, last time I got an invite from you guys was like... "can you come RIGHT NOAW?"

Funny story, going on your raid scared my guild into inviting me to more of theirs (though that's dead again).

Yeah, that was at the beginning of three back-to-back-to-back drama incidents that made us have to do some adjusting.

First was raid leader on team 2 having personal issues including some drunken raid leading which led to numerous complaints and a gkick, then ensuing drama for about 2-3 weeks afterward with some fallout :(

New leader on team 2 got his bearings just as a guild who rolled into mine all gquit enmasse after saying "no one talked" to them after about a week of being in guild (we were still dealing with drama #1 so I let them go. They decided griefing me was a good idea until I started reporting. /sigh).

Then was the holy priest who got mad that she wasn't guaranteed a raid spot because she was her. She was already on team 1 and wanted to be on team 2 as well. Only one person has a guaranteed spot on both teams, and there's a reason for that. He's tanking team 1 and leading/healing team 2. Even I don't have a guaranteed spot on 2 teams - we have a lot of raiders and I'm trying to accommodate everyone.

I figured your guild would jump to use you if they thought they were losing you Sorry to hear they're back to the worse treatment. If you want, try sticking an alt in my guild for awhile and see how it goes. We'd love to have you here! And I'm relatively certain we're back to our usual no-drama state.

Yuck. Well with how quiet it is in SD my mom and I have been thinking of jumping ship. She's on during the day with only one other person. I'm hesitant to leave without also transferring servers because of the drama that often results in leaving... (taking it personally, etc) but if my MOM is lonely?? it's time.

I don't raid on my other two 80's and I'm mostly just doing achievements on my raid druid (easy to do with baby in arms) so I'm not sure what alt I'd put in to get to know you guys. Maybe it'll be best to make a clean break idk.

Mom's leveling a paladin right now and while she sucks at watching guild chat (recent cataract surgery) she's pretty good about IM, and she uses vent if others do too. Obviously she's not tied to me in a guild application, nor is anyone obligated to take her on a raid if I get a spot (I got that impression sometimes in other raids lol)... I will say now though, if she and I both join I will NOT, repeat will NOT, but a go-between for a RLeader and mom in regards to her performance. If her DPS is low or she stands in fire, someone ELSE needs to tell her that, not me. :D Same goes for guild oopsies

Bah, we'll talk when I get back. I know another person who's looking for a more social guild too (she posted after you).

I am so glad my guild does not have these drams :O We're not a raiding guild so that my account for some of it, but i love my laid back guild. Luckily my guild has my sense of humour, which is slightly perverted, but in a good sense haha :P

Wow, I'm glad my guild has relatively none of those issues. We had a new guy use "gay" to complain about a PUGger who'd pulled some really jerky behavior, and before I could whisper him to please not, three other folks had already spoken up and take care of it! He immediately apologized and was great about it, too.

I sure hope these weren't all the SAME guildie. @_@

Lol no. Although some apply to several people (i.e. gquitting without talking about the issue) or a couple apply to the same person. This is mostly a culmination of things that I address a lot or that happened during a short drama-storm we had recently. Things are back to calm now, thank goodness.


I love it. You summed it up quite nicely a lot of what I faced when I was a GM of a large raiding multi purpose guild. And a lot of it still fits for the new guild I'm an officer in.

I really hate it when people think just because I talked to them about them joining the guild and I sent the ginvite to them that I want to be with them. They get soo mad when my pregnancy pops up in raid or my husband calls me love.

Its like, duh, I'm happily married and your just a person I was talking about raid stats, class stats, quest objectives, achievement progression, or guild policies and that conversation wouldn't have been any different if my husband or another officer was talking instead of me. So what makes you think I'm interested?! Cause I'm a girl and guildies can vouch for that?

I think sometimes people are just so lonely that they read things into things that aren't there - wishful thinking I guess :(

These are all amazing. I can attest to the "guild leaders are not psychic" thing.

We had someone ragequit the guild because (among many, many other issues) she hated my guts and wanted me to, direct quote, "die in a bus fire". The reasoning? I thought she should move five talent points in her Destro spec to give our 10-man group replenishment, and she wanted me to switch from Marks to Surv (which involved farming up a really terrible EoT trinket to fix my hit rating and spending around 1k gold in gems) instead.

I think you would enjoy my guild leader's blog. :)

I may need to quote that....Number 8 is an especially sore point tonight, as I've JUST HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME....ARGGHHHHH!!!!

Sorry, just angsty over stuff. They said they hadn't felt comfortable since about...a couple of months ago? So they tell us NOW. In the forums. To all. Without having considered raising things before....*cries*

So yes. I may be borrowing that Number 8.....

...I love this. I might have to steal (with permission). I think a few of my guildies would appreciate it.

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